By Guest Writer pSHyco phantom
Examinations, examinations. It’s an interesting fact that this is always the period in which the needle of the scandal-meter across all five blocks suddenly starts jumping. After many generations of mad-scientist research testing and field observations on unsuspecting Shearites, the pSHyco phantom has decided to share this wonderful theory with the greater Sheares Community.
It’s been observed that when the Shearite mind is in a state of examination fluster, suddenly, the world around him or her takes on a different shine. You’ve only been idly eyeing that semi-hottie from the next block all semester, and then ALL OF A SUDDEN, it becomes a Question of Ultimate Truth (portentous background music) that you’re agonising over whether she is THE ONE for you. Or not.
And suddenly, everything’s moving oh so quickly. First you’re just sometimes getting Sheares breakfast for her, then you’re buying her ’study treats’ on the sly, and THEN you’re studying together, and THEN you’re having HTH (heart-to-heart) talks, and THEN oh-em-gee-zeg many crazy wild blurs later, one thing leads to another and it’s a ‘Do you?’ ‘I do.’ situation.
Ladies, this applies to you as well.
There is a particular human defense mechanism that kicks in whenever a Shearite comes under extreme duress. This insidiously subconscious mechanism displaces the initial stressor (in this case examination-related stress from being behind in mugging) onto another subject (in this case, the coughcough-ahemahem).
A simplified version of pSHyco phantom’s theory, is that this arises because Shearites that are stressed out over their examinations have a lack of control over their examinations situation. Hence, they turn their attention towards other, more interesting problems that they have a greater sort of control over. Yes, this is somewhat similar to the beer-goggles effect seen in many clubs, except much more subliminal. Hence dangerous.
